Checking in

For the first time in quite a long time i have a viseral feeling that i'm going to make it. The world begins to make sense in ways that are surprising and exciting. Which is not to say that there is not work left to be done... but... none the less, the mountain is not insurmountable, the journey is not impossible.

thoughts

My good friend KR gave me "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff to read - for some reason it had sat on my self for many months until he said that it's a quick read, which prompted me to crack it open. And, really, it's a great book which I highly recommend.

I found the following, which seems particularly apropos to where I am right now...

"In the story of the Ugly Duckling, when did the Ugly Duckling stop feeling Ugly? When he realized he was a Swan. Each of us has something Special, a Swan of some sort, hidden inside somewhere. But until we recognize that it's there, what can we do but splash around, treading water? The Wise are Who They Are. They work with what they've got and do what they can do.

There are things about ourselves that we need to get rid of; there are things we need to change. But at the same time, we do not need to be too desperate, too ruthless, too combative. Along the way to usefulness and happiness, many of those things will change themselves, and the others can be worked on as we go. The first thing we need to do is recognize and trust our own Inner Nature, and not lose sight of it. For within the Ugly Duckling is the Swan, inside the Bouncy Tigger is the Rescuer who knows the Way, and in each of us is something Special, and that we need to keep.

For a long time they looked at the river beneath them, saying nothing, and the river said nothing too, for it felt very quiet and peaceful on the summer afternoon.

"Tigger is all right really," said Piglet lazily.

"Of course he is," said Christopher Robin.

"Everybody is really," said Pooh. "That's what I think," said Pooh. "But I don't suppose I'm right," he said.

"Of course you are," said Christopher Robin."

1/31/2008 Dream

I'm lying in bed, and i wake up and realize that there is something amiss in the house.  i'm not sure what it is, but i think someone has broken in.  i get out of bed, go into my office and grab a wooden log that has been carved into a short bat.  i also grab a sledge hammer, and the go downstairs.  all seems quiet and still, but when i get into the kitchen i see that there is a little light peeking out under the basement door.  I open the door and see that the bathroom door at the foot of the stairs is closed, and light is coming out from under that door.  i quietly go down the stairs, with the bat in my left hand and the sledge hammer in my right.  i put my hand on the door handle, and, gathering my breath, pull the door open.

 

just on the other side of the door is a large threatening man, standing there without a shirt on.  behind him is his son, and looking to my right, down by the furnace, is the man's grandson - a small child who is playing around the push mower.  i call out to the child - be careful - the blades are sharp and you'll cut yourself - but he dosen't listen, and falls on the blades, cutting his chest and arms.  but i can't worry about him, because now i'm in battle with this intruder.  i swing the sledge hammer at him, hitting him in the chest, and then i slam the door closed again and lean against it so he can't get out.  somehow i manage to hold the door closed and open the door to the outside.  the, stealing my will, i pull the bathroom door open again and try to corral the man and his son out of the basement - out the door i just opened to the outside.  I'm eventually able to manuver them out, and i slam the door closed behind them.

 

looking around i try to figure out how they got in - i see that there is an old wooden porthole/panel that was long ago painted shut, but which they were able to pry open and crawl in through.

 

i try calling 911 to report the buglery and assult, but am not able to get them on the phone.  i go outside and into the street and happen to see a police officer driving by, and am able to flag them down.  They agree to take my statement and to do an investigation.  the start at the front of the house, at the place where the front yard borders the street - there is a guard shack of some sort there, and the intruders have left their tools there - evidence that they were trying to get into the guard shack first.

poetry is...

"To me, poetry is somebody standing up, so to speak, and saying, with as little concealment as possible, what it is for him or her to be on earth at this moment."

 -  Galway Kinnell