We can dance, we can dance everyone look at your hands

Who knew? After being dragged, practically kicking and screaming, to an evening of dancing w/ K & A on Saturday, it turns out that I had a _GREAT_ time, and was actually pretty good if I say so myself. So I signed up w/ them for the 8 week Monday night course in the Sling Hustle and Manhattan Hustle, which, as I'm learning, I _really_ like, and am also especially good at. At least so far. I was feeling really down and out of it today - putting the final touches on my house refinance, and all the meaning and thoughts that go along with that. Feeling a little like I'm coping out because I'm still at my current job. But DAMN! I felt good after the dance lesson tonight. Wow. What else have I been missing out on in life?

That's a question. Please tell me - I'm curious.

Crazy Mokes � Monday Morning Blues

Crazy Mokes � Monday Morning Blues

So I'm reading my friend Amy's most recent post, and finding myself, yet again, readjusting my perspective of the people in my life. We're not all 20 anymore, at school, pretending to be adults, but not really. And now I see my friends with kids, and being parents, and great ones at that. And I realize that one could say, with authority, that we've reached adulthood.

I was reading the Monday Morning Blues, and felt an ache deep inside. How can it be that everyone around me is moving forward, expanding their families, while I feel like I've reset my clock once again. Everyone is outside playing in the warm summer sun, and I'm stuck inside for summer school, held another grade. Jealousy sucks. Living vicariously sucks. I'm tired of being held back. Maybe if I study harder I'll pass this time.

blah

ha

11/11 Dream - Hail to the Chief

11/11 dream - POTUS

Part I - i've worked hard at my office, and at the end of the day I go to a woman who is an office admin or travel agent type of person. she puts together a 'thank you' package - it's kind of like a bonus. it turns out to be a 5 day trip to anyplace in the continental US that I'd like to go - all meals, transportation, and spending cash is included. I just need to keep my reciepts to be reimbursed. so i pick up this really cool bonus packaage, and am heading out of the office. since it's late, everyone is gone, including the woman now. the problem now is that this bonus expires in a few weeks, and i really don't have time to disappear for 5 days.

Part II - i've gone up into a suite at a nice hotel - it's several floors up and i take the elevator to get there. inside the suite are a bunch of people, all assistants to President Clinton. I'm jusst a low level staffer apparently, so i stand off in the corner. the president and his higher level staff are sitting around a crowded table. then the oppoistion party comes in and sits down at the table. apparently this is an investigation meeting by the opposition against Clinton to interrogate him for something he's done wrong or that they did not like.

Part III - I'm going back up the elevator in the hotel, but this time i have baxtor with me on a leash and a female companion (not sure if she's my mother, sister, or who). as i go into the same suite, i instruct baxtor to sit in the main sitting area of the suite. the same people as before are there, but this time it's clear that i'm the new president elect, and that Clinton is the outgoing president. this time i'm to meet the same people as before, but for more of an introduction session. Clinton and his staff are still sitting at the table, and i'm going to remain standing while other people come in. I'm nervous and feel awkward and not entirely in my skin as president. And so the opposition party starts to come in. some people ignore me, but most walk by and shake my hand and introduce themselves. as the introduction go on, i start to feel more comfortable in this role. We finally sit down at the table - the opposition party is gone now - it's just my staff with me, and we're planning out how we're going to run this administration. different staff are responsible for different parts, such as health care and other things. my mandate to them is that we find one major pieces of the old administration - i don't really care which one, as long as it's relatively major - and keep its plan. the reason it to show that we can work with everyone and that this is not going to be politics as usual. even though we're working with the old administration, we're still going to be in charge though. my staffers are skeptical of this, especially the one guy who won't get to creatte a policy decision because we're going to re-use the old one.

Now i'm walking down the street in the city, by myself. i'm pretty much unrecognized. i walk up to a side street where there are a number of 'regular' people milling about. eventually a game of ball starts up in the street, and i join in. I'm having a blast, and am settling in to my role as president. eventually some of my staff finally catch up with me, and we head off.

now i'm walking down the middle of the street like i own the place. we're going to a resturant that is below ground, and as i'm heading down the steps, i put a cell phone call through to my staff and instruct them to be completely unpolitical in our administration. i will definately not play dirty, and i will take any blame that is mine to take for any problem that comes up. but we will be agressive in making things better. i'm not shooting for reelection in 4 years - if the people like what i'm doing and want to reelect me, then great, but i'm not going to compromise myself and this administration just to win reelection. i have to be firm with my staff to make them understand this, and some of them are disappointed, because they were more into the politics of governing rather than the governing itself.

11/5 Dream

note - it's the middle of the night, just woke up and am getting these down before the details fade. i'll try to clean them up and add commentary later.

Part I - i'm in a house, which seesm to be my current home, although it's unfamiliar. i'm living iwth kurt and my sister, who are also there. it''s night time, and it's raining and storming outside. across the street is where i used to live, and i need to go there to get my old mail which is still being delivered there. so i go out, thinking i can just run through the rain quickly and get this chore over with. in the middle of the street i run into my mail person, a woman, who seems a little off her rocker. she seems harmless, but is a distraction non the lesss.

i eventually get across the street and retrieve my mail, which is in a big bundle, and return to the house. as i sort through the mail, i realize the real piece of mail is from my bank. it's a weekly package, and it is quite a bundle of stuff. it seems to be a summary of every transaction i made in the last week - reciepts, statements, notices, all sorts of stuff. it just litterally all falls out of the folder in a jumbled mess of a pile of stuff. i think that's interesting, but not useful. i stuff it all back into its folder and stack it with the previous four weeks worth of weekly returns and put all of them intlo a shopping bag. just the five weeks of stuff is so full of stuff that it barely fits into the shopping bag, and in fact rips part of the bag open.

my friend kurtwho is in the house is complaining that he never gets any mail. i realize that i've been getting the mail for the entire house every day, and sort through it, tossing the junk mail, and dealing with the bills. there is actually no mail that is addressed to either him or my sister, but i realized that it is unfair to not inclujde them in the process once in a while.

Part II - i'm witjh a don cheatle (pretty sure i've misspelled his name) type guy, visiting fort lauderdale in florida. it's after hurricane wilma has just hit, so things are a little third world-ish. it's hot and muggy. we're going to a small local airport where he has an airplane and a pilot that is essentialily a bush pilot, flying into remote areas to deliver supplies and what not. outside of the airport is a Subway stand (always with the subway). I love Subway, and it's getting close to lunch time, so Don and I get in line to order a sandwich. this subway is essentially a food cart by the side of the road. i usually get tuna, but because it's hot and i might not eat the entire thing now, i decide to get turkey, which i believe wlll keep longer. when it's my time to order, i put my order in, but the people behind the counter just can't seem to get the order right. the people running the counter are a woman, her two daughters, who are making the actual sandwiches, and a very disinterested highschool aged boy, who is obviously new at this - he's mainly watching the portable TV behind the counter. because the girls keep getting the sandwich wrong, i'm starting to comlain, which is when the woman who runs the place, and is the girl's mother, show up to my right. i turn to her, and she trys to explain to me that they're making me a different sandwich than what i asked for, and that i shoudl try something new, and that i'll like this, and that it's a great sandwich, blah blah blah. i'm infuriated by this. how dare she change my sandwich?!?! this is what i've been getting for years - this is one of the two sandwiches that i know and love! and i don't think i even like the stuff they're putting on the new sandwich!! i'm face to face with the woman - we're inches away, and i think i can just (literally) bite her face off and maybe she'll shut up, but i don't. i'm yelling at her, and she just keeps saying the same thing back to me - i'll like it, i'll like it. Finally i stomp off back towards the car without my sandwich, without Don, in a show of leaving. although the secret is that i'm not actualy going to leave. in fact, my keys have disappeared at some point - they're not in my pockert, so i couldn't leave even if I wanted to. but the important thing is that i want the woman to run after me - leaving is my only leverage point, and i'm playing it to the hilt. fortunately the woman does come after me. although she dosen't catch me until i'm almost to the car. she says something about making it right for me, although it's clear that she's still going to have her daughters make a slightly different sandwich than what i'm used to. the difference, however, is that she's now doing a better job of describing what she's going to put on the sandwich. as we walk back to the Subway stand, i say something back to her, and get some spit on her nose (don't you hate that?). I immediately go to wipe it off and appologize, but she brushes me off and say that's not necessary.

We get back to the counter. the girls have finished making my sandwich and have handed it off to the boy to wrap up. He has it sitting on a napkin, and it's clear that he's going to wrap it in the napkin instead of the wax paper. his back is turned momentarily, and the woman mutters under her breath that this is not correct. it's clear that now that she has convinced me to try the sandwich, that she won't let a simple thing like it not being wrapped correctly get in the way of it getting presented correctly. So she pulls the napkin out from under the sandwich. Then the boy turns around and makes like he's just going to put the sandwich directly in the plastic bag! clearly a newbie, and obviously not in tune with the process. and obviously not even connected enoujgh to realized or care.

so i get this sandwich that everyone claims i'll love. it was supposed to be a turkey and swiss on wheat with may and lettuce. that's what i wanted. but what i got instead was one piece of turkey - a gesture towards my original sandwich, but a whole lot of roast beef, sautee'd onions, and a whle lot of red onions. and the whole thing is hot. man oh man am i disappointed. i can feel the diappointment showing on my face. i _hate_ onions, especially where they are the main focus of the food. i can't _stand_ onions. this is not a variation on my sandwich - this is an entirely different sandwich altogether!!! i'm devistated. all that committment of mental energy, the dramatic stomping off, the arguing, the yelling, the compromise, and the end result is awful. just terrible. the very thing that i knew i would never in a million years like. not even worth trying.

the epilogue to all of this is that i pull a few onions off the sandwich, and actually take a bite, and realize that it's really not all that bad. of course now i've made a big fuss about how bad it is, so i'm reluctant to show that maybe i could actually eat it. keep in mind that i still dont' really like it, but it could be edible if i had to.