I'm finally getting excited about my long awaited road trip. I'm heading out to South Dakota to visit Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse Monument, the Badlands, a decomissioned Minute Man missle silo that is now a national park, Jewel and Wind caves, and of course, Wall Drug. I'll be staying at a variety of KOAs (Kamp Ground of America). Here are the technical details:
Saturday, October 1
Finish one final thing for work and leave Arlington as early as bloody possible. Drive 582 miles to Indianapolis in 11 hours. Check in to the Indianapolis KOA where I'll be admiring their "long, level pull through, and beautiful shade trees."
Contact phone - 800-562-0531
Sunday, October 2
Leave Indianapolis, drive 640 miles to the Albert Lea/Austin KOA which is midway between Minneapolis and Des Moines. This should take about 10.5 hours. If it's still light out, I might take a swing at the driving range.
Contact phone - 800-562-5196
Monday, October 3
Stop by the Spam Museum in nearby Austin. Get my fill and head out to my final destination, the Badlands/White River KOA in southwest South Dakota. Only 455 miles and 7.5 hours today.
Contact phone - 800-562-3897
Tuesday, October 4 - Friday, October 7
Make the rounds of Mt. Rushmore, the Badlands, Crazy Horse, Jewel and Wind caves, the Minute Man Missle Silo, and Wall Drug.
Contact phone - 800-562-3897
Saturday, October 8
Say fairwell to South Dakota and head south east to the Kansas City East KOA. 667 miles and 11 hours. If there's time, stop in at Harry Truman's house. I'm sure he's expecting guests.
Contact phone - 800-562-7507
Sunday, October 9
Drive east, passing through St. Louis. Stop and take pictures. If I'm feeling ambitious, take a trip up the arch. Continue east to the Cincinnati South KOA. 567 miles, 10.5 hours
Contact phone - 800-562-9151
Monday, October 10
553 miles and 10 hours to home. Ready to be there, not making any stops, head straight on till morning.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
9/20 Dream - Trying something different
Part I - The Encounter
I'm in a resturant with A., and one of her male co-workers shows up and joins us. Even though there is nothing outwardly obvious about them, I suddenly know that they have been having an affair. I demand that the guy leave, which he does. Then I excuse myself, and make my way rapidly to a friends place, because I know I need to talk this out with someone.
Part II - The Journey
My friend's place is on the 17th floor of an apartment/condo building. I get on the elevator with a bunch of other people, and we all select the floor we're looking for. Mine is the first one, so up we go. The elevator is shooting up _really_ fast, almost too fast for me. The walls are all glass, so I can see how fast and how high we are going. I alternately close and open my eyes and hope for the ride to end quickly. Finally we get to my floor, and I get off.
Part III - The Friend
I'm in an open patio/atrium. There are apartments on both sides of the atrium. There is a party going on here, and it's obvious that this is the high rent district. There are ornate decorations and plantings, sculptures and fountains. I finally find my friend's apartment at the end of the atrium, behind a bank of sculptures and fountains. I ring the bell and his wife answers the door and invites me in. They have a new bathtub in the foyer that they're waiting to have installed, and my friend's wife makes a big show of showing it off to me. We go into the apartment, and despite knowing that this is the high rent district, I know that my friend's place is more "normal" than the other high rollers. We talk and I wake up.
I'm in a resturant with A., and one of her male co-workers shows up and joins us. Even though there is nothing outwardly obvious about them, I suddenly know that they have been having an affair. I demand that the guy leave, which he does. Then I excuse myself, and make my way rapidly to a friends place, because I know I need to talk this out with someone.
Part II - The Journey
My friend's place is on the 17th floor of an apartment/condo building. I get on the elevator with a bunch of other people, and we all select the floor we're looking for. Mine is the first one, so up we go. The elevator is shooting up _really_ fast, almost too fast for me. The walls are all glass, so I can see how fast and how high we are going. I alternately close and open my eyes and hope for the ride to end quickly. Finally we get to my floor, and I get off.
Part III - The Friend
I'm in an open patio/atrium. There are apartments on both sides of the atrium. There is a party going on here, and it's obvious that this is the high rent district. There are ornate decorations and plantings, sculptures and fountains. I finally find my friend's apartment at the end of the atrium, behind a bank of sculptures and fountains. I ring the bell and his wife answers the door and invites me in. They have a new bathtub in the foyer that they're waiting to have installed, and my friend's wife makes a big show of showing it off to me. We go into the apartment, and despite knowing that this is the high rent district, I know that my friend's place is more "normal" than the other high rollers. We talk and I wake up.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
9/16 Dream - A Drama in Five Parts
Part I - The Race
I'm running through a college campus, with a definate end point in mind, but not sure of what that is or where I'm going. I find myself running through the crowds, from one locked door or gate to another. When I come to the first locked gate, I realize I have a key in my hand, so I try it in the gate, and the gate opens. I run through many gates this way, once or twice finding the key does not work, so I back track and run to the next gate.
Finally I get to a building, and run down an external set of stairs to a door just below ground level. This building is a dorm, and the key fits the door. I go inside, and two guys come in behind me. I'm in a short hallway, the walls are kind of grungy with a faded blue paint, and the doors are dorm room doors with numbers on them. There are at least 10 doors, 5 on each side, and I have no idea which one to try. I also don't want to give myself away to the two guys who followed me in, because I know I don't belong in this dorm, but I don't want them to know that. I walk down the hall, and come to the last door which is the bathroom. Making like I belong there, I duck into the bathroom, hoping that the two guys will go into their rooms, and them I can come out and figure out which door to go into. I enter the bathroom, but to my chargrin, one of the guys comes in behind me. Making like I just finished what I was doing, I go back out, and find the hallway empty. I take a look at the key I have, and realize that it has a room number on it. "Pretty stupid - any fool who finds this key can break into the owner's room" I think, but luckily I'm the fool who found the key. I quickly find the correct door, and just as I'm turning the door knob the other guy comes out of the bathroom and asks me what I'm doing. He says I don't belong here. I mutter something about being the owner's brother, and slip into the room, closing the door behind me.
Part II - The Struggle
I know where I am! This is A's dorm room! The room snaps back and forth between two different scenes. The first is that the room is empty, and I start poking around, looking under the bed and in her desk and shelves to see who she is and what she's become. The second scene, however, is that I'm with a partner/team member from some special forces group, and there's a bunch of bad guys in the room. There are two drums of something bad, and I'm trying to figure out what's in the drums so we can stop them. I have my camera, and am taking as many pictures as I can, of the bad people, and of the drum. Trying to document it all. As I'm doing this, the bad people are dragging the drums out of the room. It's all chaos; the room is too small for this many people; we can't move around, the bed is in the way, I'm on the wrong side of the room, and eventually they get out the door and away, but not before I'm able to get a pretty clear picture of the drum label. It's some sort of chemical - I know I'll have to take the picture to one an analyst, becuase it dosen't make any sense to me.
Just then I look up, and out the window (we're at ground level), and see A. pull up in an old station wagon. Then she comes into the room.
Part III - The Battle Begins
Now we're out in the lobby, in a scene that jumps back and forth from the lobby to just outside the building, but in a World War I kind of hell, with bombs going off, the enemy just over the hill, smoke, no grass, only mud. I'm working on fending off the attacks as they come. The preferrred method of attack seems to be throwing hand grenades at us. Fortunately, I'm able to grab them and throw them back before they go off. Eventually one makes it way to us, I throw it back, but then they throw it back to me. It becomes a "game" of hot potato, with me throwing it over the hill, it coming back, me throwing it to the guys to my left, them panicing and throwing it back. Then I realize that it's just a drink coaster, and a pretty nice one at that, so I hold it up to the guys to my left, laughing, as if to say, look at what I get!, and keep it. The guys to the left seem upset that they didn't realize it was a coaster, and that they could have kept it.
Part IV - The Romantic Interlude
Finally the battle is over, and we all go back to A's room. Initially it's just A and myself. She's lying on the bed, and I'm sitting with her. It's a really nice reunion - she has her knees up, and they're leaning on me. My arm is resting on her knees. We're all smiles and warm talk. We talk about everything that has happened, and nothing at all. We lean in, and just as we're kissing, the rest of the group comes into the room. There are looks around the room that say, well about damn time!
Part V - The End
But we decide we need to go back out and scavange for supplies. I take my partner from earlier, and we head out. The outside is a waste land. Much destruction, mud, smoke. We find that the bad guys have left some barrels of gasoline where they had been stationed. In come cases they had rigged the barrels to explode, and they already had. But in other cases, we can siphon off some of the gas to take back with us. We wander down the hill, and come to a building with a porch on the front. On the porch is one of the remaining bad guys, and he's threatening us. So I shoot him. But then we realize that there is a young mother with three small children who just saw me shoot this guy. So I have to execute them as well. I shoot the mother first, and then the three children, each one once in the head.
I'm running through a college campus, with a definate end point in mind, but not sure of what that is or where I'm going. I find myself running through the crowds, from one locked door or gate to another. When I come to the first locked gate, I realize I have a key in my hand, so I try it in the gate, and the gate opens. I run through many gates this way, once or twice finding the key does not work, so I back track and run to the next gate.
Finally I get to a building, and run down an external set of stairs to a door just below ground level. This building is a dorm, and the key fits the door. I go inside, and two guys come in behind me. I'm in a short hallway, the walls are kind of grungy with a faded blue paint, and the doors are dorm room doors with numbers on them. There are at least 10 doors, 5 on each side, and I have no idea which one to try. I also don't want to give myself away to the two guys who followed me in, because I know I don't belong in this dorm, but I don't want them to know that. I walk down the hall, and come to the last door which is the bathroom. Making like I belong there, I duck into the bathroom, hoping that the two guys will go into their rooms, and them I can come out and figure out which door to go into. I enter the bathroom, but to my chargrin, one of the guys comes in behind me. Making like I just finished what I was doing, I go back out, and find the hallway empty. I take a look at the key I have, and realize that it has a room number on it. "Pretty stupid - any fool who finds this key can break into the owner's room" I think, but luckily I'm the fool who found the key. I quickly find the correct door, and just as I'm turning the door knob the other guy comes out of the bathroom and asks me what I'm doing. He says I don't belong here. I mutter something about being the owner's brother, and slip into the room, closing the door behind me.
Part II - The Struggle
I know where I am! This is A's dorm room! The room snaps back and forth between two different scenes. The first is that the room is empty, and I start poking around, looking under the bed and in her desk and shelves to see who she is and what she's become. The second scene, however, is that I'm with a partner/team member from some special forces group, and there's a bunch of bad guys in the room. There are two drums of something bad, and I'm trying to figure out what's in the drums so we can stop them. I have my camera, and am taking as many pictures as I can, of the bad people, and of the drum. Trying to document it all. As I'm doing this, the bad people are dragging the drums out of the room. It's all chaos; the room is too small for this many people; we can't move around, the bed is in the way, I'm on the wrong side of the room, and eventually they get out the door and away, but not before I'm able to get a pretty clear picture of the drum label. It's some sort of chemical - I know I'll have to take the picture to one an analyst, becuase it dosen't make any sense to me.
Just then I look up, and out the window (we're at ground level), and see A. pull up in an old station wagon. Then she comes into the room.
Part III - The Battle Begins
Now we're out in the lobby, in a scene that jumps back and forth from the lobby to just outside the building, but in a World War I kind of hell, with bombs going off, the enemy just over the hill, smoke, no grass, only mud. I'm working on fending off the attacks as they come. The preferrred method of attack seems to be throwing hand grenades at us. Fortunately, I'm able to grab them and throw them back before they go off. Eventually one makes it way to us, I throw it back, but then they throw it back to me. It becomes a "game" of hot potato, with me throwing it over the hill, it coming back, me throwing it to the guys to my left, them panicing and throwing it back. Then I realize that it's just a drink coaster, and a pretty nice one at that, so I hold it up to the guys to my left, laughing, as if to say, look at what I get!, and keep it. The guys to the left seem upset that they didn't realize it was a coaster, and that they could have kept it.
Part IV - The Romantic Interlude
Finally the battle is over, and we all go back to A's room. Initially it's just A and myself. She's lying on the bed, and I'm sitting with her. It's a really nice reunion - she has her knees up, and they're leaning on me. My arm is resting on her knees. We're all smiles and warm talk. We talk about everything that has happened, and nothing at all. We lean in, and just as we're kissing, the rest of the group comes into the room. There are looks around the room that say, well about damn time!
Part V - The End
But we decide we need to go back out and scavange for supplies. I take my partner from earlier, and we head out. The outside is a waste land. Much destruction, mud, smoke. We find that the bad guys have left some barrels of gasoline where they had been stationed. In come cases they had rigged the barrels to explode, and they already had. But in other cases, we can siphon off some of the gas to take back with us. We wander down the hill, and come to a building with a porch on the front. On the porch is one of the remaining bad guys, and he's threatening us. So I shoot him. But then we realize that there is a young mother with three small children who just saw me shoot this guy. So I have to execute them as well. I shoot the mother first, and then the three children, each one once in the head.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Happy Birthday K.
Today is K's birthday. While wandering around our local farmer's market a few weeks ago, I found a guy selling vintage New Yorker covers, going back many years. Knowing that K. loves the New Yorker, I took a look to see if he had the cover for the year K was born. Well, not only did he have that year, he had the entire issue for the day she was born! What a find. I just wish I had these kind of good ideas back when K and I were together. So I stopped by her place tonight to drop it off, and she apparently really liked it.
But damn she's looking good, and to hear that one of her old male friends was coming by tonight for dinner and to help her setup her bed, it just punched a hole straight through me. It dosen't help that this is a guy who has shared many of the same experiences she has, and that I could never really understand. My mind just goes off into fifty different scenarios, none of which I like. I know this is all my thing, but still. Fuck me.
But damn she's looking good, and to hear that one of her old male friends was coming by tonight for dinner and to help her setup her bed, it just punched a hole straight through me. It dosen't help that this is a guy who has shared many of the same experiences she has, and that I could never really understand. My mind just goes off into fifty different scenarios, none of which I like. I know this is all my thing, but still. Fuck me.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Hide and seek
It occurs to me that I've been hiding lately. Keeping to myself, bunkering down at home, generally wanting to cocoon myself at home and not some out for 40 days and 40 nights, as it were. Let the apocalyptic flood come, but I'll be safe in my ark. Speaking of being safe in an ark, I was very pleased to learn today that my friend's wife's family, who likes in Ocean Springs MI weathered the hurricane safely. Apparently they still have their house and their well being, which is truly a blessing. That picture they show of the bridge that was wiped out going into is only a few miles away from their house, so very lucky indeed. Speaking of lucky, K is out of town this weekend, so I have our (hers now) smaller dog, Nacho, for the weekend. I had let both Baxter and Nacho out this morning while I took a shower, but when I came back downstairs to let them in, they were not there. Somehow the gate had come open, and they wandered out. Panic quickly setting in, I began to run up and down the street shouting their names. Eventually I began to circle the block, doing a full loop before I ended up on the street behind our house, and there they were, busily investigating the trail of a raccoon. The guy who lives in the house two houses back found them in his yard, and had kept them corralled there while he tried to get ahold of either me or animal control. I introduced myself, but in the relief of the moment I've forgotten his name already. My heartfelt thanks goes out to him however, as I was concocting all sorts of doomsday scenarios of what could have happened to Baxter and Nacho, none of them good. This reminds me of the time, as a child, that my friend (from above) and I ran away from my parents house because my mom was serving milk for lunch, instead of koolaide that we knew we could get at his house. Our plan was to walk to his house, several miles away, and across a fairly busy road. We actually made it about 2/3 of the way there, which is probably about 2 miles, before my mom finally found us. I can only now begin to imagine what was going through her head at the time. Ready or not, here I come!
Friday, August 26, 2005
The Hulk
I have met the hulk
exploding with rage
too much time in the cage
clothing in shreads
pulling hair from the head
he rises from bed
kick in the door
pound on the floor
scream out once more
put a stop to the tides
hold back the moon so high
it just can't be done
stop a hurricane from blowing
or the oceans from flowing
it just can't be done
the hulk fades away
I've come to accept the day
When I must stand on my own
fuck.
exploding with rage
too much time in the cage
clothing in shreads
pulling hair from the head
he rises from bed
kick in the door
pound on the floor
scream out once more
put a stop to the tides
hold back the moon so high
it just can't be done
stop a hurricane from blowing
or the oceans from flowing
it just can't be done
the hulk fades away
I've come to accept the day
When I must stand on my own
fuck.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Cool breezes
I spent a while sitting outside during lunch today - the weather is
perfect, the breeze is blowing, the crickets are chirping. With my
eyes closed, the smell of the cut grass brought back memories of being
out west backpacking through Arizona. Interesting.
blah.
It's been suggested that I go with the flow - feel what there is to feel, etc. Today I feel like like cocooning myself at home, maybe read a book.
Monday, August 22, 2005
8/21 Dream
I'm with A., and we're going to adopt a child. It's quite an ordeal to get to where the kid is, and by the time we get there it's late. Another man has already adopted the kid, and is heading back to his home on a bus. We get on the same bus, and try to figure out a way to convince the kid that he wants to go home with us instead of this other guy, but we can't come up with anything. Then the dream disolves into another chase/be chased sequence where I'm trying to get back to the house before some guy who is trying to catch me.
You can go home.
I moved back into the house on Saturday, spending pretty much the entire day cleaning/arranging/restocking the house. Now my back is just all day uncomfortable. I think I need a deep tissue massage or some such thing. Moving in was a mixture of emotions - sad, especially setting up the office, since that is where K. spent alot of time. But also exciting as I finally have a place to put my roots back down. I had not realized how much of the house had to do with K.- after she moved out it was pretty empty, in more ways than one.
I've been reading over my last several postings, and they're getting me down. I'm finding it depressing and slightly pathetic looking back at what I've written. I've given friends and family a hard time for not wanting to read all of this, but I honestly can't really blame them - I'm not sure I want to read it! Grrrrrrr... However, on that note, last night's dream is next.
I've been reading over my last several postings, and they're getting me down. I'm finding it depressing and slightly pathetic looking back at what I've written. I've given friends and family a hard time for not wanting to read all of this, but I honestly can't really blame them - I'm not sure I want to read it! Grrrrrrr... However, on that note, last night's dream is next.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Mind the Gap
This is my new favorite movie - although it's a Showtime movie, it really works. It made me cry in sadness, and cry in happyness.
So I move home tomorrow - I feel like this is the Night Before Christmas, and that I should just go to bed so tomorrow will come quicker, but I'm afraid I won't fall asleep. My parents gave me their old silverware and bed linens for when I move back, since K. is taking those items (We've split the "stuff" pretty evenly). I'm still sad deep down about splitting up. I'm sad that this is the last night that K. will ever spend in the house. I'm sad that I never was able to find our connection - I wanted to so badly. I'm sad that we're not going to share new experiences together anymore.
I think perhaps the reality of moving back home will not live up to the fantasy that I've created in my head.
I've shared the existance of this site with a group of my friends, who were generally unenthused by a window into my inner mind. However, now that I've done that, I feel a greater need to share meaningful insight instead of general rambling. On this front, you'll have to be disappointed, as MI (or meaningful insight) only comes on Tuesdays (and sometimes Thursdays). So there :)
So I move home tomorrow - I feel like this is the Night Before Christmas, and that I should just go to bed so tomorrow will come quicker, but I'm afraid I won't fall asleep. My parents gave me their old silverware and bed linens for when I move back, since K. is taking those items (We've split the "stuff" pretty evenly). I'm still sad deep down about splitting up. I'm sad that this is the last night that K. will ever spend in the house. I'm sad that I never was able to find our connection - I wanted to so badly. I'm sad that we're not going to share new experiences together anymore.
I think perhaps the reality of moving back home will not live up to the fantasy that I've created in my head.
I've shared the existance of this site with a group of my friends, who were generally unenthused by a window into my inner mind. However, now that I've done that, I feel a greater need to share meaningful insight instead of general rambling. On this front, you'll have to be disappointed, as MI (or meaningful insight) only comes on Tuesdays (and sometimes Thursdays). So there :)
The Symphony
It's thoughtful and timid
as if it's not there
This symphony is composed
as if out of air
But movement and breath
is more than enough
To create fine music
Just look at this stuff!
Piccallos and trumpets
working in pairs
Violins and cellos
bows made of hair
The breath it is blowing
The bows they are throwing
The music is flowing
Cymbals are crashing!
Timpany bashing!
Tubas all laughing!
The conductor is thrashing!
The audience is dancing,
They're all on their feet!
They cannot sit still in the waves of the beat!
The balcony is shaking!
The seats are all quaking!
The neighbors are waking!
The people are taking
It all the way home
Thursday, August 18, 2005
8/17 Dream
The new convention will be to simply give a header line as above for dreams, so they're easier to find - the date will indicate the day of the dream, so 8/17 means last night (today is the 18th). On to the dream -
I'm helping setup a tent, and my task is to assemble several rods that make up two legs and one of the roof pieces of the tent. Because they are no labeled, it's possible to put them together incorrectly, but not really realize it until later. So I've assembled my pieces, and one of the supervisors asks me if I've put it together correctly. I actually don't know if I did or not, but it looks ok, so I say that it is done correctly. So then he goes and is working with my part of
the tent frame when he realizes that it is not assembled correctly. He calls me over and starts yelling at me to fix it. I take the frame apart and am starting to reassemble it. I'm working with my head down, and am embarrased and ashamed about being proven wrong. But as
I work at correcting the frame, this guy keeps on going on and on about what a fuckup this is, and I'm getting more and more worked up - I start shaking, my jaw is trembling, and then I just lose it and break down.
Then there was something about going to a garden, climbing over a iron fence, and looking at a bunch of plants that have been cut down at the ground level. This garden is up at the top of a cliff, overlooking the ocean. I get the feeling that the garden has not been tended to
for quite some time. Then, as I watch, the cut down plants start to sprout flowers - and as I keep watching, they regrow and start blooming. But they don't stand up - because the stalks were cut off at the ground and were angled over, they grow parallel to the ground, straight out.
Ok, so like before, I'll post my thoughts about these in the comments section. I welcome yours as well.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Going away and coming home
Just got back from Dave & Busters where we had a "going away" party for Nic from work, although she's not _really_ going away, she's just "opening up" our San Francisco office (read: she's moving to SF, but not leaving the job). You can read all about that at phasefive.blogspot.com. I'm really going to miss having Nic around the office. First, because she's the no-nonsense one,and every office needs someone like that. Second, she's an outstanding analyst and PM, and I was learning alot from her. And finally, she's one of only two females in our office right now, and that's just too many guys :).
K. finally asked me for some help with the move - just supervising the movers while she has to do something else - not sure what that is, but I've asked, so we'll find out. Three more days and then I'm back home for good. This has been a good week to distract me from this
rapidly approaching end point - I typically break my week down into - full day at work Monday, Tuesday is split in two with my session with CH in the middle of the afternoon, all day Wednesday (although we cut out early today for the Dave & Busters thing), most of a day Thursday at work, but my group stuff in the PM, and then all day Friday. Makes for a nicely varied week.
Ok, not much to report today - very tired now. It seems I have not really shared much in the last few posts, so I'll try for more over the weekend.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Join the Marines - in your dreams!
I told my counselor - we'll call her CH - about this blog, and she
made a comment about "grading" my entries, especially dreams. I
thought that would be funny, but now it's a challenge. I demand a
gold star! On the topic of dreams, however, I think I'll start adding
them to this running stream of consciousness as well.
My dreams, historically, have been vivid, meaningful, and exciting.
The more I pay attention to them, the more I get out of them.
However, the last 2 - 3 weeks have been a dry spell, or just jumbled,
garbled dreams. I suppose this falls in line my general frame of mind
as well - pretty much in a fog. However, the last two nights have
seen a re-emergence of dreamland.
Two nights ago - I find myself wandering around what appears to be a
college campus. I stop at a basketball court to play ball, play a
little tennis, etc. Then I finally make it to class, and walk in
late. As I go to sit down, the professor hands me an envelope with my
attendance records. I have two absences - the first is excused, for
freshman orientation, but the second is unexcused. And now I'm 15
minutes late. The professor had been in the middle of reaming out the
class for not showing up on a regular basis, and now I'm included with
the rest of the group. He says that we just need to show up with no
more than one absence over the semester if we are to have any chance
at passing this AP, Naval Academy course.
Then, last night - I'm in a gymnasium with a bunch of other guys, and
we're all enlisting with the Marines. I'm second in line with my
group, behind one guy who it not entirely going with the flow. I find
myself conforming to the group, standing in line, at attention, etc.,
but all the while I'm thinking, "what am I doing here? I'm not a
Marine", and finding myself conforming externally, but not being
"broken" internally. The guy in front of me is a bit of a clown, but
is also clearly the group leader, as he's at the front of the line,
and is essentially leading us in what we're supposed to be doing.
I'll give my impressions of the meanings of the dreams in the comments
sections. Also, the dream details are not great because I waited too
long to get it all down. More to come.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Long talks and catching up
I just returned from the viewing for Marcia. It turned out to be a nice opportunity to catch up with Steve, Cheryl, Randy, and Doug from my old SEA (Science and Engineering Associates) days, which was my first job as a co-op in college and then for the first year after college. I had a chance to spend quite some time talking with Cheryl, who I have a good relationship with. We talked all about losing relationships and finding ourselves, and what makes for a good marriage and what makes for a good self. I always enjoy our chats, and felt especially "present" during this one, which I take to be a good sign. Now, if I can just take that "in the now" energy and bring it with me to the rest of the world...
My mom asked me for the address to this blog tonight, after reading my sister's blog (see side bar - Adventures in Vet School) - Hi Mom! This should be a little interesting having mom (and possibly dad?) read my blog, as we don't really do the emotion thing in our family. And I'm a little nervous about my mom reading my previous posts, since I talk about being ready to move on, which I am, but I fear that perhaps I was not as "diplomatic" as I could have been. Well, maybe it will prompt additional conversation. Although, honestly, I've done alot of the "deep conversation" bit over the last 9 weeks, and I'm ready for a break.
Tired. Must sleep. More tomorrow. Come back then.
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