A side effect of those who are closest in my life having blogs is that the openness and honesty that comes out, asynchronously from my ability to react, can at times be gut wrenching.  It's not for me to fix, sooth, or otherwise play a part in, but knowing that my presence, lack thereof, or some other precipitating factor may be tied in with tough emotion stuff really makes my stomach turn over.  I feel scared and sad to read such things - I wish I could make it all better.  And at the same time I don't want to make it better, the process being part of the journey.  criminy.